The shock: I have breast cancer. That's the worst part of this awful news I wish I didn't have to share. The awe: how fortunate I feel that good news about my bad news outweighs the bad. There are several indicators that my cancer is highly treatable. The fancy name for it is infiltrating ductal carcinoma (IDC), the most common kind of cancer (different from the kind my mom beat). It started in one of my milk ducts and has spread beyond it (not yet clear just how much), as well as to at least one of my lymph nodes. The cancer cells are in the middle of the abnormal spectrum and aren’t reproducing too rapidly: grade 2 out of 3 (which has nothing to do with what stage my cancer is — something we won’t know until more tests are done). I’m super relieved that my tumor is positive for both estrogen and progesterone, which means there are more tools to treat it. And it’s HER2 negative (human epidermal growth factor receptor 2), which means it’s not as aggressive as some of the nastiest breast cancers. The next steps are a) to meet with a surgeon to talk about the pathology of my tumor in greater detail (stay tuned for more news after my June 16 appointment), b) book an MRI if the surgeon feels I need one before he gets this thing out of me and c) go through the second opinion process with Seattle Cancer Care Alliance, which will give us as much confidence as possible that the diagnosis and treatment plan my doctors lay out for me are based on rock solid science. The gratitude: what's hit me more than any emotion I've navigated these last several days. As horrible as it is to face a demon like cancer, I'm so grateful I can say with the utmost confidence that I'm ready for this. I'm also grateful beyond words for all the love and support I have from so many deeply caring people in my life: family and friends, near and far, whom I know will be there for me, Sean, Sylvia and Tyler in countless ways as we kick cancer in its unwelcome ass. Hard. Thanks to all of you who are sending me warm and positive thoughts. If it takes me longer than usual to write or call you back, I know you'll understand. We'll talk and/or hug and/or laugh and/or cry it out as soon as we can. In the meantime, know that my family and I draw great strength from all of you. You're amazing. As I sign off on what will be the first of many entries, I'll leave you with this thought from a dear friend: "Cancer has messed with the wrong woman."

#CaringBridge #cancer